10 Things You Should Never Say to a Big Game Guide

by Aram Barsch Von Benedikt • February 8, 2012 • 12 comments

During a decade or more of guiding hunters in the back country, one hears things from hunters that both warm the heart and chill the blood. These are all true tales from the tall timber. Of the chilling variety. Take heed of these statements and you might just become the model for how to be a good hunting client.

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Mind If I Don't Smoke?

Mind If I Don\'t Smoke?

Scenario: Horse pack train, halfway to high-country wilderness elk camp.

Hunter to outfitter: “I’ve been smoking way too much. I’m going to use this trip to quit cigarettes. Didn’t bring a single one.”

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12 Responses

  1. Patrick

    Every guided hunt I've been on, the outfitter takes us out upon arrival and verifies rifle sight-in and accuracy. The outfitter and guide are to blame for this one as well if they did not make expectations known prior to the hunt and verify upon arrival.

    On February 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm • Reply
    • Patrick

      FYI – referring to scenario and photo #5

      On February 12, 2012 at 9:08 pm • Reply
  2. Joe

    I'd agree with Patrick, except for those times when a plane is delayed and you get to camp at 10 pm the night before opening day. No chance to check your zero. It's happened to me, and the outfitter suggested that we hunt the morning and then come back to camp and shoot to confirm sight-in. I had a great scope in really good mounts, and so I went with it. Anyway, it was neither the hunters or the outfitter fault, it was the stinking airlines.

    On February 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm • Reply
  3. biosbh

    Best I've read in awhile. Bore sighted…LOL.

    On February 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm • Reply
  4. MinnChuck

    As to Pic #9 (Missed the 1st 3 out of 4 elk) ………
    Well, I wasn't THAT bad but we'd put in 2 1/2 days of hunting and I got my 1 & only chance at an elk. I blew it! It was at 200-250 yards with no chance for a rifle rest. The elk stopped for about 4-5 seconds and I was forced to shot from a standing, unbraced position. I stood in weeds 3'-4' high so even a sitting position was out – not enough time anyway. I believe that I jerked the trigger – Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
    I've got more excuses but suffice to say : It's been well over a year and I still picture that lousy shot!

    On February 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm • Reply
  5. Daniel Moore

    I remember my first guided hunt. I could not buy the right ammo I wanted to save my life. I wanted 180 gr .30-06 bullets but all the stores were out. I finally settled on 150 grain powerpoints by Winchester. I had to re-zero my rifle – which shoots to a different point of contact with 150 grain (most '06 have this habit) when I got there. I used half a box (the only box in the store by the way) … I was hunting wild boar and did get a 250 lb boar with one shot.

    On February 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm • Reply
    • Hawk Smessaert

      Hawk ,,,,It is time to read more about guns in general….be a boy scout always be prepared. 150 gr is sufficient for any boar, or even elk. Many might argue, but most real hunter experts have hunted for most game w/ a 30-06 w/ 150 gr. ammo.

      On April 26, 2012 at 11:54 pm • Reply
  6. jerry

    How funny, It's a good thing i am not a guide.

    On February 17, 2012 at 1:02 am • Reply
  7. Tom

    With the exception of # nine, this should be "Ten things a guide or outfiter should ask his client"

    On February 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm • Reply
  8. Scott Nelson

    Outfitter and/or guides should show this to prospective clients with the comment, "If you're one of these guys…" while sharpening the largest knife they have.

    On February 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm • Reply
  9. Jim Cleary

    There are a few things a fella could say to some guides too. "If your mother says she loves you, check it out !"

    On March 30, 2012 at 11:10 pm • Reply
  10. Fred Bungert

    Guy at the range asked me to help him sight his Browning 30-06. Looked like he used it to mix cement. (Really disgraceful condition.) He fired 2 full boxes and wasn't on paper (2' x 2') I took his gun and had it within 3" in 5 shots. He said "I can't believe it was that far off. I've missed lots of deer over the last TEN YEARS!" I about fell off the bench laughing.

    On May 14, 2012 at 6:50 am • Reply